March 25, 2023

A woman has sparked a debate online after admitting she is considering pulling her child out of their school after meeting some of the other parents whose children attend.

The anonymous mother went to the UK Parenting Forum Mums net asking other people if she was a snob after she didn’t like the way other parents behaved on the playground and was worried about her child playing with their children.

While many other people thought she was judgmental, there were plenty of others who agreed with her point of view and said they would have the same concerns if it were their child.

Explaining her predicament, the mother revealed that she was happy to send her child to the primary school in the first place because it boasts a mix of people and it doesn’t subject children to exams as much as other institutions, making it less stressful .

An anonymous mother in the UK has sparked an online debate after asking people if she is a snob for wanting to remove her child from a school because the other parents ‘aren’t like her’ (stock image)

But now, she says, she is thinking about it, as the parents are just not the same when dropping off and picking up [her] at all’.

She wrote: ‘DC has just started reception in a ‘Good’ (Ofsted) mainly quite close to our home. There are a couple of super competitive primaries in our town, due to being in Kent and the 11+ looming no matter how young your kids are.

‘We’ve said before that it didn’t matter if DC went to these schools really, as they wouldn’t be mixing with a number of kids and would be drilled for 11+, which is quite stressful. So we chose what we thought was a happy community school for them.

‘This is where I sound awful and I know, but in your darkest heart you might agree with me, so bear with me. The parents at drop off and pick up are just not like me at all. A charming neck-tattooed father this morning whirled around the playground on an electric scooter while his child looked on.

‘All the other parents thought it was brilliant. Where did you get it etc etc? Neck tattoo man says ‘Alan, because he’s in jail, right?’ ‘Oh yes, I was wondering why he wasn’t here yesterday’ etc etc.

‘A very brave receptionist came out and kindly asked him to stop driving around on his scooter and after they went back in he and this giant group of parents swore at her. The day before, I waited near two women who compared the different ways they lie to the school about where the children are when they sleep.

‘DC seems happy enough, but I’m also a little sad that we haven’t had any communication whatsoever about how they’re settling in, despite being there for three weeks now. Not so much as a word.

‘I KNOW I’m a snob who doesn’t want my child to be around their parent’s offspring like this, but a small part of me wants to pull DC back and put them in one of the other schools locally, where I know a couple of parents who absolutely do not drive illegally on electric scooters around and around.

‘AIBU quietly inquire about other schools? I hate myself for feeling this way, btw, so no matter how hard you go to town on me about my snobbery, you can’t beat my conscience.’

A number of respondents believed the poster was reasonable in wanting to remove their child from the school – some shared their stories of why they wrote off schools for their own children.

One said: ‘The parade of parents I saw going to school with a little one eating a Gregg’s sausage roll (and a pasty on the way home) was the reason mine never went to the local school.’

Another added: ‘I took DS out of such a school and also didn’t encourage an activity he wanted to do precisely because the parents were frankly the rudest ones. Some were terrifying. He was also bullied, and the bully’s parents thought it was funny, and DS just needs to be toughened up.

‘He goes to private school now, when most parents have professional careers, and it’s like night and day. I won’t even apologize for being a snob – I can’t really see us hanging out with most old-school parents, so I wouldn’t expect my kids to either.’

Meanwhile, another revealed they had moved home to avoid their child attending a school they perceived as ‘rough’.

They wrote: ‘It may be snobbish but I moved to avoid similar. Before my dc was school age, we lived in a city and I regularly encountered young, unsupervised children swearing at me and damaging cars.

“We found needles in the toilets in the park, adults leaving their rubbish all over the park, drunk people fighting outside when the pubs appeared and much more.

‘We moved because I didn’t want my dc to grow up in that environment and we were lucky to be able to afford it. It had never bothered me before, but when my 2-year-old asked why that man can’t stand up, or why those people don’t pick up their trash, it filled me with despair.

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“I get it, I know there are a lot of social inequalities behind all this behaviour, but as a parent you want to protect your children as much as possible.”

Meanwhile, many other respondents felt that the poster and other people on the thread were snobbish, while others felt that meeting people from a mix of backgrounds can be positive for everyone

However, some other posters blasted what they saw as a snobbish attitude towards other parents.

One wrote: ‘Wow I’m shocked! Is there no one defending the other mothers at school, the so-called chavs! These are still people. I thought by the Conservative party being based on MN that you were all left wing. Instead, you beat them for what they eat, wear, e.g.

‘My ex DH left when my Ds was 9. Most mums crossed the road from me like I was infected and they had to keep their husbands away. The more ‘experienced’ mothers supported me and listened to me cry. My Ds’ girlfriend had a father in prison. He was a sweet and kind boy to my ASD son.’

Another agreed, writing sarcastically: ‘Yes, tattooed necks and eating Greggs sausage rolls. What does this country come to when nice people have to mix with people like them?

‘They should be kept in areas where they cannot contaminate our children. It’s a slippery slope. One day it’s people eating dough and the next day you’re expected to be talking to someone who earns less than £50,000.’

And a third simply wrote: ‘You are a snob and so are the people commenting on this post!

‘But do what you feel comfortable with, of course.’