February 9, 2023

BioWare games have built a reputation for producing some of the best player-driven romances in video games. In service of that reputation, the BioWare store is filled with all kinds of bits and bobs designed to entice players to buy things that show their love for a particular character. In the latest merch drop, the brilliant bastards at BioWare brilliantly capitalize on that dedication with a “Romance Bundle” committed to Dragon Age Origins‘ cheese-loving heartthrob Gray Warden, Alistair Theirin.

The bundle is a beautiful wooden box in which the portrait of Alistair is engraved and in which is a necklace; a recreation of the one you can give him to increase his approval for you. The bundle also comes with, according to the item’s description, “a little worn-out love letter tucked away in the bottom compartment, wrapped in a thin leather strap and hiding a secret message from Alistair” — all for just $60. the fumes when I think of all the bumbling but endearing things in the letter.

Throw a rock at the gaming community and chances are you’ll hit someone who’s their sexual awakening in the hands of a BioWare character. The studio produces good, well-written companions that you can easily fall in love with; so much so that fans not only know when to expect the next game, but also want to know who they can look forward to having a romance with. When I was first introduced to BioWare with Dragon Age: Origins in 2009 i taught myself what mods were and how to mod games because i was obsessed with Alistair and wanted to consume every bit of content that characterized him, be it in-game or by fans.

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And that’s just dragon era’and Alistair. If BioWare did this for all its companions? Wow! That’s what excites me most about this release. BioWare knows what it has in these characters and has already proven that it will use that resource for maximum effect. It sells Garrus Vakarian body pillows for God’s sake. It knows precisely what it does and what fans will pay for. Imagine that the Liaralikers of the world could get a message from her or if, Andraste forbid, the solosRomancers got a message and his wolf bone chain? The tormented fear of them Lavellan characters would be enough to power the world for a century. (And let me be clear, the Solas romancers would enjoy such fear.) BioWare should never have to release another game again as it will have made a coin. Take my money, BioWare. You earned it for this.